For me, future me, and my mama.

Archive for May, 2012|Monthly archive page

Bienvenidos, Summer 2012 [J.L.Borges].

In Excerpts. on May 22, 2012 at 2:30 am

instantes. 

[attributed to Jorge Luis Borges]

Si pudiera vivir nuevamente mi vida,
En la próxima
Trataría de cometer más errores.
No intentaría ser tan perfecto,
Me relajaría más.
Sería más tonto de lo que he sido,
De hecho
Tomaría muy pocas cosas con seriedad.
Sería menos higiénico.
Correría más riesgos,
Haría más viajes,
Contemplaría más atardeceres,
Subiría más montañas,
Nadaría más ríos.
Iría a más lugares adonde nunca he ido,
Comería más helados y menos habas,
Tendría más problemas reales
Y menos imaginarios.
Yo fui una de esas personas
Que vivió sensata y prolíficamente
Cada minuto de su vida;
Claro que tuve momentos de alegría.
Pero si pudiera volver atrás trataría
De tener solamente buenos momentos.
Por si no lo saben,
De eso está hecha la vida,
Sólo de momentos;
No te pierdas el ahora.
Yo era uno de esos que nunca
Iban a ninguna parte sin un termómetro,
Una bolsa de agua caliente,
Un paraguas y un paracaídas;
Si pudiera volver a vivir,
Viajaría más liviano.
Si pudiera volver a vivir
Comenzaría a andar descalzo a principios
De la primavera y seguiría descalzo
Hasta concluir el otoño.
Daría más vueltas en calesita,
Contemplaría más amaneceres,
Y jugaría con más niños,
Si tuviera otra vez vida por delante.
Pero ya ven, tengo 85 años…
Y sé que me estoy muriendo.
 
 
If I could live again my life,
In the next –
I would try to make more mistakes,
I wouldn’t try to be so perfect, 
I would be more relaxed,
I would be more sillier than I have been,
In fact,
I would take very few things seriously,
I would be less hygienic,
I would run more risks,
I would take more trips,
I would watch more sunsets,
I would climb more mountains,
I would swim more rivers,
I would go to more places I’ve never been,
I would eat more ice cream and less beans,
I would have more real problems
And less imaginary ones.
I was one of those people
Who lived sensibly and prolifically
Every minute of his life.
Of course I had moments of joy,
But if I could go back
I would try to have only good moments.
If you don’t know –
That’s what life is made of,
Only moments;
Don’t miss the now.
I was one of those who never went anywhere
Without a thermometer,
Without a bottle of hot water,
Without an umbrella and a parachute.
If I could live again,
I would travel light.
If I could live again,
I would try to work bare footed
At the beginning of spring
Until the end of autumn.
I would ride more merry-go-rounds.
I would watch more sunrises
And play with more children,
If I had another life to live.
But now, I am 85…
And I know I am dying.

When I Grow Up…

In Thoughts. on May 21, 2012 at 7:31 pm

When I grow up, I want to be just like DAISY–confident, courageous, and doing life with a smile on my face and a song on my lips.

Daisy Love Merrick is my former pastor’s 7-year old daughter who is battling cancer for the third time in three years.  Now though I have moved 2,500 miles away and plopped myself into a world of new, some things will never change.  The storm will pass.  The sun will come up in the morning, and our God will always be good and sovereign and worthy of praise.  Now as for this little beauty right here, I will keep on praying for her and the Merrick family and would kindly invite you to do the same.

“The other day, Daisy was looking at our globe, spinning it around.  She started kissing it as it spun, over and over…We asked her what she was doing, and she said, ‘I’m kissing all the people who pray for me!'”

Be it the news we want to hear or not, blessed be the name of the Lord.

And now!…let’s pray.for.Daisy.

The Show Must Go On.

In Thoughts. on May 8, 2012 at 8:03 am

Cue Friday.  Enter Malia stage right, back in Santa Barbara–in the place and with the people who will always have and hold a big piece of her heart.

Picking up at the scene of graduation, she gazes into the eyes of loved ones she has not seen in a year.  She beholds their dear face so close to her own and senses within them an extraordinary amount of growth.  She can’t fully decipher all of the details, and yet she hears and understands perfectly the stutter of their hearts.  How is that?  Well, because hers is stuttering too and yearning to know everything about the other and to be known in the same.  Thus as all words fall, fail, and fade into the background of inadequacy, Malia and the other actors spend their short time together in a long embrace, their friendship reaffirmed once again.

And so concludes the scene as all exit into their separate wings and prepare for the next, Malia to act again with some, some more than others.  And though at times she wishes she could do every scene with every actor, she knows that that’s not possible and henceforth takes comfort in the fact that in the end, after the Director takes the stage, there’s going to be a humongous cast party to follow.

It’s going to be one heaven of a party, and she can’t wait.

Fourth Quarter Fight.

In Thoughts. on May 1, 2012 at 11:37 am
Running off the court,
She grabs a seat on the bench.  
Upon taking a drink of water,
She BREATHES.
In and out.  
Listening to the game plan,
She wipes sweat from her brow.  
Upon hearing the buzzer,
She BREATHES.
In and out.  
Putting her hand into the circle,
She feels revitalized once again.  
Upon breaking with her team,
She BREATHES.
In and out.  
Jogging to the base line,
She looks at the clock.  
Upon receiving the ball,
She BREATHES.

In and out.

Ball in.

And so begins the fight for the crucial fourth quarter.  She can rest after the clock strikes 0:00.  But for now she must fight, finish well, and finish strong, for never again can she make a difference in this game and as it will go down in the books.

Photo Credit: Jessica Fairchild [jessicafairchild.com]