Thank you for that reminder, random street art sign. I was beginning to get discouraged for a bit there.
THE MISSION.
[New York, NY]
Archive for September, 2012|Monthly archive page
A Friend’s Farewell.
In Thoughts. on September 29, 2012 at 2:11 am
It’s Change that led you into my life.
It’s Hope that let you into my heart
Down into parts not many have seen
And through those exploits hard to impart.
It’s Change that will now lead you away.
Though the memories will hold you near.
For up and away will thank you’s flow
When I recall this wild past year.
Thereby, as you move back overseas
I’m comforted when I think of this:
It’s Change that will likewise bless others
When you are planted into their lives.
So how can I not let you leave here?
It’s Hope, once again, beginning to rise.
Hope that our supreme joy lies ahead
Each path, each road customized for one
Thus as ours diverge, do what you need
Do what is right, there are no reruns.
For Life moves us on,
Though Love keeps us friends.
Farewell for now, my favorite Brit,
Until we meet again.
I’m going to miss you, chika. xoxo
I’m going to miss you, chika. xoxo
Building Cafe Lattes at the Bar & Castles in the Air.
In Thoughts. on September 27, 2012 at 11:58 pmSometimes I get carried away and think that Success wears only business suits. It strolls out of its Upper East Side penthouse at half past eight and flags a taxi down. It’s running a bit behind schedule today, but God forbid it go to work without caffeine. So, Success has the driver stop a couple of blocks away from work at the local coffee shop. There it waits in line, periodically glancing at its Rolex, which strangely enough (though unintentional) matches its yellow gold cufflinks. Now, Success drinks only triple-shot cafe lattes and when its total is rung up, it pulls out a hefty wad of cash. “Oh, don’t forget the almond croissant (said with a legitimate French accent),” it chimes in as it hands over a $50. It’s got nothing smaller. Proceeding on, it picks up the order at the bar and is out the door. Again, so late, but not rushing. It may be able to afford treasures untold, but when it comes to coffee, it can’t afford to waste a drop. Yup. Still not rushing. The world will have to wait. Finally, Success arrives at work in a stunning high-rise glass building that choreographers dream of and drool over building pieces on. There his colleagues (because when you’re Success you have colleagues and not just co-workers, unless you happen to be British), Status and Significance come together to review the powerpoint presentation one more time. Boom. Everything runs smoothly, as it always does when you’re Success, and the work day comes to an end. Soon enough, Success is on its way home and thinking if it should hit the gym for a bit before grabbing drinks with friends at the bar on the corner tonight. We’ll see. Who knows? The world is its oyster. Mmm, oysters sound good for dinner!–Oh, the possibilities when you are Success.
Then there are some times I realize that I am being absolutely ridiculous and must smack myself back to real life.–Oh, the musings when you are a barista working day in and day out with (no, that’s not right) for (no, that sounds bad) with (eh…it’ll do) New York midtown businessmen.
Beginning Again Is Never Easy.
In Photos. on September 23, 2012 at 9:08 pmI have no words, no polished thoughts, no definite updates at this present moment. This is all you get because this is all I want to do.
NAPTIME.
[Querétaro, MX]
This Is Not War [A.Marin].
In Excerpts. on September 17, 2012 at 9:40 pmThis is “I love you” and want to know how to do it better.
An excerpt from Andrew Marin’s Love is an Orientation, p. 81.
Imagine you’re in the clouds looking down at the Golden Gate Bridge.
It’s suspended above the Golden Gate Strait, connecting the San Francisco Bay to the Pacific Ocean, and you can see that the bridge is anchored down by two large landmasses on each side. On one side is the gay and lesbian community firmly bolted down. On the other is the evangelical community firmly planted in the same fashion.
Now from your position in the clouds, remove the entire middle section of the Golden Gate Bridge. What is left are two brief entrance ramps still anchored on each side with nothing to connect them. Imagine the GLBT community and the Christian community standing on their respective sides, sincerely and honestly encouraging one another to leave their safe and secure landmass and swim across to the other side, pull themselves out of the water, try to climb up the entrance ramp without ropes or any equipment, and then somehow stumble their way to the other community who is comfortably waiting, wondering what took so long.
There’s got to be a better way.
How Does It Feel To Be Back In NY?
In Photos. on September 16, 2012 at 12:07 pmSome people call it “exciting.” Others call it “frightening.” I personally think it “crazy.” Then again, there’s really no need for lengthy explanations. I just call this
YEAR #2.
[Waianae, HI]
Oh, The Places I’ll Go!…Back To.
In Thoughts. on September 15, 2012 at 4:19 pmI step onto the treadmill. I press the power-on button and up pops the San Francisco scene as if it were summer 2010 once again. I begin to walk as I hear the same sounds and see the same sights. Familiarity enraptures my soul, and with every step forward, I move further back into my past. I want so badly to sprint on through, but the treadmill only has one speed. It forces me to walk slowly and steadily as it leads me back to Market and Embarcadero, over to Lyon and Fell, and of course down Mission and Valencia.
I say to myself, “I can’t believe this is happening.”
Eventually, I arrive at this season’s last loose ends and am suddenly able to recall the most infinitesimal details of my most intense happiness and heartache. I spend some time revisiting them all. In due course, I tie them up with a cry, a kiss, and a “see you later” and thankfully leave the scene with less baggage than when I came. I continue on with a lighter heart, again hearing the same sounds and seeing the same sights. Still I feel, I know and am confident that this one thing is different, and that is me.
I Left My ♥ In.
In Photos. on September 9, 2012 at 8:52 amThe objective: to move to a place where I didn’t know anyone, to thrive in it and eventually come to love it. The date: summer 2010. The destination:
THE CITY BY THE BAY.
[San Francisco, CA]
San Francisco is one of my most cherished places on earth. Admittedly, coming here was delayed and then cut short when two immensely dear individuals unexpectedly passed away, bringing the total time here about six weeks. Nevertheless, I consider this place one of my homes; for so many of the roots that hold me up to be the woman I am today have been planted in this wonderful city and the things I learned and experienced here.
—–
The objective? I’d say–accomplished.
Be Encouraged [AW Tozer].
In Excerpts. on September 7, 2012 at 5:13 amAn excerpt from AW Tozer’s The Knowledge of the Holy, p.97-99.
Most of us go through life praying a little, planning a little, jockeying for position, hoping but never being quite certain of anything, and always secretly afraid that we will miss the way. This is a tragic waste of truth and never gives rest to the heart.
There is a better way. It is to repudiate our own wisdom and take instead the infinite wisdom of God. Our insistence upon seeing ahead is natural enough, but it is a real hindrance to our spiritual progress. God has charged Himself with full responsibility for our eternal happiness and stands ready to take over the management of our lives the moment we turn to in faith to Him. Here is His promise: “And I will bring the blind by a way that they knew not; I will lead them in paths that they have not known: I will make darkness light before them, and crooked things straight. These things will I do unto them, and not forsake them.”
Let Him lead thee blindfold onwards,
Love needs not to know;
Children whom the Father leadeth
Ask not where they go.
Though the path be all unknown,
Over moors and mountains lone.
-Gerhard Tersteegen
God constantly encourages us to trust Him in the dark. “I will go before thee, and make the crooked places straight: I will break in pieces the gates of brass, and cut in sunder the bars of iron: and I will give thee the treasures of darkness, and hidden riches of secret places, that thou mayest know that I the Lord, which call thee by name, am the God of Israel.”
It is heartening to learn how many of God’s mighty deeds were done in secret, away from the prying eyes of men or angels. When God created the heavens and the earth, darkness was upon the face of the deep. When the Eternal Son became flesh, He was carried for a time in the darkness of the sweet virgin’s womb. When He died for the life of the world, it was in the darkness, seen by no one at the last. When He arose from the dead, it was “very early in the morning.” No one saw Him rise. It is as if God were saying, “What I am is all that need matter to you, for there lie your hope and your peace. I will do what I will do, and it will all come to light at last, but how I do it is My secret. Trust Me, and be not afraid.”
With the goodness of God to desire our highest welfare, the wisdom of God to plan it, and the power of God to achieve it, what do we lack? Surely we are the most favored of all creatures.
The Elevator Speech.
In Thoughts. on September 4, 2012 at 5:29 amHow was New York? How was camp? How is home? Where is home? So you’re dancing up there? What are you doing up there? Why are you there? What are you going to do when you go back up there? What did you major in? What are you going to do with that? Don’t you want to do broadcasting or journalism? Do you think you are going to stay for a while? When are you going to move back? What do you want to do with your life?
I don’t know. I don’t know. I don’t know.
As result, hopping on and off planes and in and out of bygone worlds, I’ve given up on concise explanations. Now I’m not frustrated that you asked (though generic questions usually prompt generic answers, just saying), but the fact is that there are a lot more questions marks than periods in my life and the process of me going through it all is indeed, quite the process. I will, however, offer the following song as nails it right on the head. It speaks of and summarizes all of my feelings of this past season. It’s actually rather weird how accurate it is and personal it seems.
With that, here is Gungor’s “Please Be My Strength” [click title for link to song], my elevator sing-songy speech for the year.
I’ve tried to stand my ground I’ve tried to understand But I can’t seem to find my faith again Like water on the sand Or grasping at the wind I keep on falling short So please be my strength Please be my strength ‘Cause I don’t have any more I don’t have anymore I’m looking for a place Where I can plant my faith One thing I know for sure That I cannot create it And I cannot sustain it It’s Your love that’s keeping me Please be my strength Please be my strength I don’t have anymore I don’t have anymore And at my final breath I hope that I can say I fought the good fight of faith I pray your glory shines In this doubting heart of mine And all would know that You You are my strength You are my strength You and You alone You keep bringing me back home Oh, You are my strength You are my strength You and You alone Keep bringing me back home It’s You and You alone Bringing me back home —–You ask me what I am doing?
Do life with me and you will see who I am becoming.
